she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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