I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
