Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
