I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize