we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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