i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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