She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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