But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
