I'm drive I can fine osifer
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
