please come you make the beer taste better
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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