i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
