google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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