wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think a kid would responsible me up
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
