i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
