I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
