In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
FUCK WHALES
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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