Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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