I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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