do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
