awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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