oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He felt like a one man threesome
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
