my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
