So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
