Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Drake has all the answers
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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