I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
