Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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