dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
