Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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