My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
