The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize