i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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