Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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