Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
