Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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