the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
