yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
