Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
