Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
