bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
