This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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