Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he puts the penis in happiness.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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