Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
