am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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