i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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