feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize