The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
