pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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