Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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