i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
