Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
