Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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