I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I look better un-naked...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Someone came in the potted fern
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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