I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
