I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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