WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
