yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
