i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
