we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
