Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
