So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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