i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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