doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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